I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Come on in and take your pants off
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