i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I understand Curling. That high.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Randomize
