OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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