omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
