I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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