...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
