In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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