Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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