Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
