Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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