I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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