you would pick up someone in the library
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
