You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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