So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Randomize
