is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
