I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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