Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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