I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
