windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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