I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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