If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
