Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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