if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
