So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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