Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
