He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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