I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
