you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
