Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
