I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
