when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
dude i'm inner monologue high
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
