brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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