eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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