It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
