I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
