I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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