Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
