It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Welp...herpes.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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