this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
