The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
