You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
