Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
