What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
