so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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