I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
