If that was your dad, he is hot
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
