it's too hot outside to masturbate.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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