This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
