Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
