So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
