Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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