Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
