we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
