She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
