Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
