I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
