I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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