is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
